ASEXUALITY

What is it?

Virtually a self-explaining designation, but it should distinguished from celibacy, which is the deliberate abstention from sexual activity. That is, while in celibacy one choses deprivation of sexual intimacy, even though there is a desire, asexuality is an intrinsic part of the condition of the individual involved. Non-sexual people have not taken such a decision, they simply have no sexual desire, and do not care about that.

Therefore, asexuality has nothing to do with chastity, sexual dysfunction or morality. Nowadays, people are seeking to understand it,  causing many to defend it, not as a pathology, but as a legitimate sexual orientation, although some say that this criterion fits in the sexual disorder hypoactivity, or even sexual aversion.

What does it feel?

You could say that is an identity and a way to describe the life style characterized by the lack of sexual attraction to either gender. For some, it also includes the lack of romantic attraction, and there are those who feel little need for interpersonal relationships, and also those who maintain an extensive network of friends, which gives them the emotional support needed.

The emotional needs are the same, varying how they are met. If, for many, sex is a key part in connecting people, for others it is not necessarily the only possible expression of love. Achievement may come from the caring, compassion, closeness, empathy and acceptance.
It must be clear that being asexual does not mean disliking or being against the sexual act, although there are some who fit in that category, but demonstrates the lack of interaction with other people on a sexual basis.

The feelings are not lost. A person who admits to being asexual can fall in love, love and be happy with another person, while not feeling sexually attracted to and having no sexual needs.
 
There is no shame, fear or opposition to it. Sex is accepted as natural, but they do not get involved because they lack desire. That is, while they may feel attraction, they not necessarily feel the need to express it sexually.
 
Some may even experience different levels of ocasional sexual arousal, though that is not linked to the desire of having sexual partners, and feel more comfortable masturbating, in response to a more physiological impulse.

How is it diagnosed?

For being part of Western society, we must have an active sex life, in which sexuality is an essential and interacting part. In a world that so values sexual expression, it can be hard to imagine that there are people who identify themselves as asexual. Many may even feel social pressure, getting to the point of wondering whether they are normal for feeling this way.

 
Contray to what one might think, such an attitude does not create discomfort, but it is often the others that feel bothered by the way of being of the non-sexual individual. So, what we see is that such individuals do not perceive the lack of excitement as a problem that needs treatment.

There is no test that can determine nonsexuality. But, anyway, rather than cure, we must accept such guidance. Whatever the meaning, being asexual has to do with not being sexual, not caring about sex, and not seeing the lack of sexual arousal as a problem to be corrected. Briefly, if it is not a cause for angst, it should not be perceived as an emotional or medical disorder.

 

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